Blunt Language For Murdered Girl's Memorial Makes Some Uneasy

Forty years ago, a 7-year-old Hillsdale resident was sexually assaulted and murdered by a neighbor when she was delivering Girl Scout cookies to his house. 

But does her memorial have to state that? 

Members of the Hillsdale Council said Tuesday that they were concerned about the proposed language for a planned memorial for Joan D'Alessandro to be built in the grassy area in front of the train station. The proposed text includes the phrase "molested and murdered," making some officials uneasy.  

"We're talking about people coming off the train, and the first thing they see is a girl was 'molested and murdered' in Hillsdale," Councilman Larry Meyerson said.  

Rosemarie D'Alessandro, Joan's mother, said the point was not to be negative or shocking, but to explain what happened. "Molested" was not the harshest word she could have used, she said.  

"I was trying to get the best language to say the truth and not hide it," D'Alessandro said.

The new memorial is both about Joan and protecting other children, D'Alessandro said. She spent years following Joan's death advocating for laws that eliminate the possibility of parole for those who murder young children.

That fact was something Hillsdale residents could be proud of, Councilman Frank Pizzella said.

"How many of us can say we have enacted four laws to protect children across the country?" he asked. 

Councilwoman Chis Looes said she was also worried that the monument, which is intended to spread awareness for children's safety, could cause children to who read it to lose some of their innocence.

"Who are we to decide when a parent is going to explain that to their children?" Looes asked.

D'Alessandro said she believed being open and honest would inspire others to take action to protect children.

"When you're open with what happened, in a respectful way, that's when you can change things," D'Alessandro said. "It starts with Joan, but it's not for Joan. It's for all children."

The piece of land where the memorial is to be built is owned by Bergen County. Officials already approved the use for the site, but did not see the specific plan. Borough Attorney Eric Bernstein suggested asking county officials to review the language.

Either way, it's likely that the memorial won't be in place by September 7, Joan's birthday and the day D'Alessandro had hoped to be the unveiling of the monument.